When I was planning my own wedding, I knew exactly what I wanted my morning to look like. I told my bridesmaids, “I just want to be alone. I want some time. You guys can come over and say hi, but then that’s it.” Some brides want a full house from the minute they wake up, with mimosas flowing and someone’s Bluetooth speaker already going, and if that’s you, go for it! I needed quiet, coffee, and my hair and makeup artist.
One bride I came across on Reddit had the same instinct, taken even further:
“Normally, I am a very anxious person, but I was super chill that day. I had rented an Airbnb nearby where I stayed alone. The only person there in the morning was my hair and makeup girl. It was awesome.”
— via Reddit.com
Whichever camp you’re in, your wedding morning sets the tone for the whole day. After interviewing planners and photographers for my Smart Wedding Planner (and reading a LOT of wedding recaps on Reddit), I’ve noticed the brides who loved their morning all did a version of the same things. So let’s go through the morning in order, starting the night before.
It Actually Starts the Night Before
Get your dress or suit steamed and pressed before the wedding day. If you’re steaming your gown yourself, put distilled water in a steamer with a sock placed over the nozzle, then go underneath the garment (without letting the steam get too close to the fabric…or your hands!) to remove any wrinkles. And break in your wedding shoes! Wear them around the house to scuff the bottoms and make them less slippery, and feel for any potential pain points where you can add cushioning.
Then go to bed. Even though your friends might be staying out and partying after the rehearsal dinner, you’ve got a huge day ahead. You’ll thank yourself in the morning if you cut out early to get some rest! We also have a whole list of last-minute wedding tasks people forget if you want to make sure nothing slips through the cracks before your head hits the pillow.
Wake Up Earlier Than You Think You Need To
Hair and makeup always runs long. Always! Build in at least an hour of buffer between when glam is supposed to wrap and when you need to be in your dress, and go over your wedding day timeline with your planner or coordinator so someone besides you is watching the clock.
I loved how one bride on Reddit described her early start:
“Getting up early gave us time to wake up and get excited, have our coffee leisurely, and my bridesmaids surprised me with a scrapbook of letters from my husband, parents, bridesmaids, friends that weren’t in the bridal party, etc. Getting the time to read all of those aloud and soak in the morning was so special. It also made the day feel longer!!”
— via Reddit.com
Everyone tells you the day flies by, and they’re right. The morning is the ONE part of your wedding day you can actually slow down, so give yourself more of it.
Eat a Real Breakfast (and Dress for the Chair)
Eat a healthy breakfast and lunch. I know, I sound like your mom. But the mimosas tend to come out around 9am, and dinner might not hit your plate until 12 hours later. Order breakfast the night before or put one bridesmaid in charge of the food run.
While you’re at it, your getting ready outfit should be a button down shirt or robe, which will make sure you don’t mess up your hair and makeup when it’s time to change. We rounded up our favorite bride and bridesmaid getting-ready outfits if you want everyone matching for photos, and our bridal suite checklist covers the snacks, straws, and touch-up items worth having within arm’s reach.
Decide What You Want Photographed
When I interviewed New York wedding photographer Jon Lemon for my Smart Wedding Planner, he told me he asks couples about morning coverage directly: “If you want me there while you’re smearing your spread on your bagel and having coffees in the morning and that’s part of your story, great, let’s be there, I’ll do that.” I know that we didn’t have our photographer there when I was getting ready. It wasn’t something I personally wanted, but it also helped us save money. If you love a photographer whose all-day package is out of your range, ask what skipping the getting-ready coverage would save you. I always think that that’s a conversation that a lot of vendors are open to that a lot of couples aren’t aware of.
If you DO want those photos, go over your shot list with your photographer ahead of time, and put your details (rings, invitation suite, perfume, your something borrowed) in one box the night before so nobody is digging through your suitcase mid-updo. Rushed detail shots are one of the biggest wedding timeline mistakes photographers complain about.
Give Your People Actual Jobs
My favorite tip from the recap threads came from a bride who ran her suite like a pro: “I assigned ‘jobs’ to my bridesmaids like making sure I drink water, keeping the bridal suite tidy, etc. and their help with those things made a huge difference.” We love this one! One person fields the vendor calls, another keeps your wedding day emergency kit close by, and somebody always knows where the vow books are.
The same goes for what you need emotionally that morning. If what you want at 10am is an iced latte and zero questions, tell your maid of honor at the rehearsal dinner. Your people WANT jobs. Give them jobs!
Tape a copy of the day-of timeline inside the bridal suite (and the groomsmen’s room, too). Nobody can claim they didn’t know when hair started.
Hand Off Your Phone
You will not need your phone on your wedding day, but your phone will absolutely try to convince you otherwise. Give it to a bridesmaid or your mom after breakfast and let them field the “where do I park?” texts. One bride had an even better idea: “see if someone else will take photos/videos of the day with your phone! My coordinator offered to do this, and I loved having pics [and] videos from throughout the day that I could literally scroll through that night in bed!”
We love this because you get all the candid moments without spending your morning staring at a screen. The group chat can survive one day without you.
Steal a Few Minutes Alone
When I interviewed planner Brooke Avishay of Orange Blossom Special Events, she told me some brides thrive with a crowd around them and some don’t: “If you are going to be happier that day to have some solace in the morning and just do yoga or go for a run and just be in total silence, then I think you can find other jobs for your friends than being in a wedding party.” You don’t have to skip having bridesmaids to take her advice. Just carve out 15 minutes that belong only to you.
What that looks like is up to you. One bride told her fellow Redditors: “while my girls were getting their hair done, I popped my headphones in with some lofi and just wrote what I was thinking and feeling. Whether positive or negative, journaling gets it out of my head.”
Go for a walk, pray, or just sit with your coffee and look out the window for a while. However you do it, make sure you also get a private moment with yourself in the mirror once the dress is on. It sounds cheesy until you’re standing there, and then it really doesn’t.
Let the Hiccups Happen
Something will go sideways on your wedding morning. A zipper will stick, or the flowers will show up 20 minutes late. At my own wedding, guests started arriving 45 minutes early while I was still taking photos (I wrote about that whole saga in what I learned from my wedding). None of it will matter by dinner.
No matter what hiccups happen, you will have the best day ever! And truthfully, it’s those little moments you remember forever. You’ve got a few hours left of being engaged, your favorite people in the room, and a very good outfit hanging on the door. Put on a playlist you love, eat the bagel, and enjoy every second of it.
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