Every time I’m about to walk out the door with my husband, he has to say the same line out loud to confirm he’s ready to go: “Wallet. Keys. Phone.” It’s almost like a rhyme. I usually carry a purse and while I think I’m being as thorough as he is, there have been times I’ve forgotten my wallet, or keys, or phone. So clearly his method works better than mine!
Someone on Reddit recently asked brides what they forgot to do or bring on their wedding day, and it got me thinking about a possible saying or acronym you could use to help make sure you all the important things with you before you head to your venue. I think one that could work is RSVP:
Before you leave for the venue
R.S.V.P.
In my opinion, these are the most important items you’ll need to bring on your wedding day. I would also add a phone charger and lip gloss! LOL. But someone will have both of those, they won’t have the ones above.
So, what have brides forgotten on their wedding day? And what tasks should you make sure you have done the week before? Read on to see real wedding examples that made brides and couples go D’OH! And if you want to go through our list of bigger to-dos, check out our week-before wedding checklist.
The Marriage License, and the People Who Have to Sign It
Your marriage license has three jobs on your wedding day: it needs to get to the venue, get signed, and make it back home afterward. Every one of those steps gets forgotten by couples every weekend, including the signing part. One bride shared her story on Reddit:
“My goof was that I forgot to bring the marriage license to my wedding (whose idea was it to give me that responsibility, anyway?).”
— via Reddit.com
“We had our marriage license and our officiant forgot to sign it.”
— via Reddit.com
Put ONE person in charge of the license from start to finish (your officiant is a great choice, and many will offer). If your state requires IDs for the signing, pack those too. And before your officiant heads home, have your point person confirm the license is signed, witnessed, and tucked somewhere safe. Our marriage license guide covers what your state requires and how long you have to turn it in.
Let someone else be in charge of this: License duty goes to your officiant or a detail-oriented parent, not someone who already has seventeen other jobs that day.
Shoes That Have Never Touched the Ground
If you take one task off this list and do it tonight, break in your wedding shoes! Wear them around the house to scuff up the bottoms so they’re less slippery, feel for any pain points, and add cushioning where you need it. One bride on Reddit had a system we love: “I’ve been trying to wear them around the house as much as possible. Also a hot tip for those who have desk/office jobs – wear them at work! My bridesmaids are currently doing this with their shoes too. Wear them with giant socks too :)”
While you’re at it, wipe the soles clean. Your photographer will be shooting your shoes for the detail photos, and the bottoms show more than you’d think in those kneeling ceremony shots. If any part of your day is on grass, this bride’s regret is your shopping list:
Do it tonight: Wear your shoes while you make dinner. Blisters have a way of showing up at hour five, not minute five.
Anything That Needs a Steamer
Wrinkles are the enemy of wedding attire, and so many of the fabrics are prone to wrinkles. You’ll want to make sure you plan accordingly, and bring a steamer with you for any last-minute wrinkles.
“If you can manage, don’t wait until the day before to get the dress steamed! I thought waiting until the day before would be fine (and one person at the store told me it shouldn’t be a problem), but it turned out to be a huge added stress waiting for the dress to arrive, and I had to send my mother out to go get the dress while I did everyone’s hair!”
— via Reddit.com
Pro tip: If you’re steaming anything delicate yourself, put distilled water in the steamer and place a sock over the nozzle. Then go underneath the garment, without letting the steam get too close to the fabric (or your hands!).
Your Vows, on Actual Paper
When I interviewed vow coach and officiant Tanya Pushkine (aka The Vow Whisperer) for my Smart Wedding Planner, she told me the last-minute vow scramble is bigger than anyone admits: “It’s chicken scratch on the back of a menu. I do not recommend this at all. And I cannot tell you how many wedding planners have told me that this is what they’re seeing at the rehearsal dinner the night before or even the day of, people are scribbling away.”
So write them early (our guide to writing your wedding vows will get you unstuck), and then PRINT them. A phone dies, autocorrects, or lights up with a text from your aunt mid-ceremony. Paper can’t do any of that. One bride kept it in perspective after leaving hers inside: “I forgot my vows. Left them inside. I just winged (wung?) it. And… now we’re married, so it’s all good.”
Back-up plan: Print two copies of each set of vows. One for you, one for whoever is holding your bag.
The Flat-Lay Pile (and the Rings)
Your photographer’s first stop in the morning is usually the detail shots: invitation suite, perfume, jewelry, shoes, and the rings. The couples who set that pile aside the night before get an extra twenty minutes of getting-ready photos. The couples who don’t spend that time digging through tote bags.
The rings deserve their own line on the list. Make sure they end up with the correct person the night before (not “somewhere in the suite”), and give them something to sit in. We loved this one: “Something to hold the rings. We didn’t have a ring box that held both rings and our alternative was a little velvet bag from the Crystal Maze Experience (like an escape room based on an old TV show in the UK if you’re not familiar!) It was fine and didn’t end up in any photos but I just didn’t think about it until we were packing the day before the wedding.”
And one more from a bride who learned it live: “Assign someone to be in charge of making sure all your accessories go on before you walk down the aisle.” Our wedding photo checklist has the full detail-shot list to pull from.
Food and Water, Scheduled Like a Vendor
You will forget to eat. Ask any married friend you have. The fix is putting food on the actual timeline: eat a healthy breakfast and lunch, and make one specific person responsible for feeding you. One bride’s crew nailed it: “Make sure someone is in charge of feeding you before the wedding. It’s really easy for that to get past you. One of my bridesmaids made finger sandwiches for everyone to snack on throughout the morning/afternoon.”
My bridesmaids were amazing and brought lunch to my room while I was getting my hair and makeup done. (It was shellfish, which in in hindsight was maybe not the best idea LOL).
Water bottles in the getting-ready room are also super important. “I should have brought a water bottle with me! I was so parched at the ceremony,” one bride revealed.
We’d add a box of straws to the case of water, and so would this bride: “once lip makeup is applied it was way easier to have a straw instead of continually re-applying before photos/ceremony/reception.”
Put it on the timeline: Breakfast, lunch, and a plate of appetizers waiting for the two of you right after the ceremony. You’ll be too busy hugging people at cocktail hour to find the passed shrimp. (We cover this more in what brides really need on their wedding day.)
Tip Envelopes and Final Payments
The first thing to do when figuring out tips is to check (and double check) your contracts, because gratuity is often already included for catering, transportation, and even musicians. For the tips that aren’t included, our wedding vendor tipping guide breaks down who gets what.
The part people forget is the logistics. Buy a box of thank-you notes, place the cash inside, label each envelope, and create separate piles according to when they should be given out. Then entrust the wedding-day envelopes to your planner, a parent, or a wedding party member. Same goes for any final payments still due. As one bride put it: “Write all of your last payment checks now. Just have them ready so you don’t have to think about it later.”
Smart move: Add each tip to your budget now. They can surprise you at the end if you’re not prepared!
The Touch-Up Bag Someone Actually Packs
Remember that wedding day emergency kit you swore you’d put together back when you had free time? This is your reminder! One Redditor’s list of the hard-to-remember items reads like a poem: “Steamers, Bobby pins, pins, double sided tape, something to descuff a shoe in a pinch, makeup wipes, q tips, hair ties, bandaids – all things that are hard to remember. Also be sure you have a tried and tested deoderant that holds up to hours of sweating!!!!”
Our wedding day emergency kit checklist has all the necessities (down to the white chalk that hides dress stains), so use it and don’t overthink it. Then give the bag to your most organized bridesmaid. She knows who she is, and she will LOVE the assignment.
Who’s Getting Everything Home?
“We forgot to delegate particular things for people to clean/take home with them so we weren’t scrambling to find things the next morning.”
— via Reddit.com
That one comes up constantly. Gifts and cards need a ride home at the end of the night, and so do the marriage license, the leftover cake, and the bag you left in the suite. If nobody owns that job, it becomes YOUR job, at midnight, in a wedding dress.
This is also where a good wedding coordinator/planner and comes in, who is always worth the investment. When I interviewed wedding planner Maria Erickson of Plum & Ivy Events for my Smart Wedding Planner, she described everything a right-hand person handles before you ever hear about it: “If Jane and uncle Joe missed their flight, we’ve reorganized the seating chart without you even knowing. It’s the greatest investment of your day.”
Hand this one off too: One runner for forgotten items, one end-of-night person for the gifts and cards. Cash has walked away from more than one reception.
Chargers, the Final Song Check, and a Timeline on Paper
When brides list what they forgot until the last minute, chargers come up every single time. One bride’s answer covered half this article in one breath: “Phone chargers, extra makeup for touch ups, steamer, extra hangers. My friend’s husband opened up his bag with his suit and stuff in it on their wedding day and found out his pocket square was missing, so make sure all the boys have everything they need!”
And while you likely have your processional songs and first dance picked out months before, it’s the small songs that slip through: wedding entrance, cake cutting, the last song of the night. If you never locked those in, your DJ picks for you, so make one final confirmation text part of your last vendor check-in (our wedding day timeline guide shows where each song lands).
And print your timeline! Tape a copy inside the getting-ready suite. The version on your phone does you no good when your phone is dead, or zipped inside your maid of honor’s purse during the ceremony (which is exactly where it should be!).
And if there’s a photo you know you want, say it out loud to your photographer AND a bridesmaid. One bride’s biggest regret: “I was so wrapped up in the day there were a lot of people I didn’t get pictures with and I regret not having those.”
One Last Thing Before You Go Make Your Lists
When I interviewed DJ Ian Gotler of RedShoe for my Smart Wedding Planner, he told me the one line he wishes every couple believed: “It’s just a party. I promise you, it’s just a party.”
So hand off the license, break in the shoes, and then take the advice I give in my own planner for the day before: go for a walk by yourself. Breathe in. Relax. Smile. Get excited. No matter what hiccups happen, you will have the best day ever. And truthfully, it’s those moments you remember forever.
Some links in this post may be affiliate links, which means we may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through them. Thank you for your support!
