So, you just got engaged?! Congratulations!!! This is going to be one of THE most exciting times in your life, and it’s just the start of your adventures together as a soon-to-be married couple! You should definitely take the time to revel in what just happened. I mean, you’re engaged!!!! Once you’ve let that sink in, you’ll want to start planning the best party EVER. But where to begin?
The timeframe is going to be different for everybody, and this is important: IT’S NOT THERE TO STRESS YOU OUT. Trust us, we have seen hundreds of brides plan a gorgeous wedding in less than four, heck even two months. It IS possible.
But when it comes to finding the right wedding vendors for you, the #1 thing you’ll want to remember from Day 1 of your wedding planning is that the more time you have to research them, the better. A lot of the best wedding venues, photographers, videographers, and hair and makeup artists book up FAST, so the sooner you can find your dream team of wedding vendors, the better.
The First Three Decisions Make the Rest Possible
1. A Wedding Planner, If You’re Hiring One
If you think you’ll want to hire a wedding planner now is the time to do it. That’s because most great wedding planners have a list of wedding venues they know and love, and can get you started seeing venues that fit your budget.
One thing we will say is we highly recommend hiring AT LEAST a wedding coordinator. In case you didn’t know there was a difference between a planner vs. coordinator, there is! A planner is with you from very early on, and stays with you through the very end. A coordinator on the other hand could be a month-of or day-of coordinator, and you might start working with them just a few weeks before the wedding. I had a month-of coordinator that we contracted two months before the wedding, and she was great.
The reason you need either or is that you don’t want to have family members and friends running around on your wedding day and not enjoying the party. A wedding coordinator will make sure everything is running smoothly (and that you’re having fun).
When I interviewed wedding planner Maria Erickson of Plum & Ivy Events for my S.M.A.R.T. Wedding Planner, she described the point of having that right-hand person better than I can: “If Jane and uncle Joe missed their flight, we’ve reorganized the seating chart without you even knowing. It’s the greatest investment of your day.”
2. The Wedding Venue
In our opinion, this is THE hardest part of wedding planning, so give yourself enough time to research, visit, and book your locations. We recommend booking a venue as close to 12 months ahead of time as possible, as a lot of wedding venues will book up more than a year in advance. However, if you have less time than that don’t worry! It might take a bit more planning on your part but you will find a location, trust us. We help brides with this every day.
First decide on the year you want to get married and pick at least two different months you are open to. Talk about whether you want a day or evening wedding, and if you are open to days besides Saturday (IE: a Friday or Sunday) if you find a wedding venue you love but a) it’s too expensive and you need to pick a cheaper date or b) your ideal date is not available. The more flexible you can be re: a date at this point, the better, but it’s good to know what your options are.
Once you find your wedding venue, trust us when we tell you everything else will fall into place. You’ll be able to lock in your date, which means you can begin to actively look for all your other vendors. And don’t forget to get your wedding venue’s “Preferred Vendor” list. Vendors that work with the same venue time and time again are known to consistently do a great job. Plus, they’re trusted enough by the venue that they feel comfortable recommending them. That’s a win-win and not a recommendation to be taken lightly!
Don’t sign anything before you ask how many guests the room holds WITH a dance floor, what the rain plan is, when the music has to stop, and which rentals and vendors are required. Bring our list of questions to ask a wedding venue with you.
3. The caterer comes next if one is not already part of your venue contract. While we think we are a great resource for honest wedding venue reviews across the country (and globe!), we also highly recommend reaching out to local caterers when starting your wedding venue search. Often times they know about secret locations or great spots you might not be able to find elsewhere.
One of the most important things to remember when thinking about how to plan a wedding is that every guest adds to your bottom line. This is all before you add on costs for photographer, dress, music, etc.
The People Who Can Only Be at One Wedding
4. The Photographer (and 5. The Videographer)
Aside from your wedding venue, your wedding photographer is arguably one of the most important vendors you can hire. But finding the right one is about more than searching Instagram for #BestWeddingPhotographer. By taking the time to make sure your wedding photographer not only captures the style you want but is also someone you enjoy being around, you can rest easy knowing that you’ll end up with wedding photos you love.
It’s one thing to see one or two shots from a wedding online. It’s another to see a full gallery of a wedding. This will allow you to see the less-than-Instagram-worthy shots, and make sure they’re still in line with what you would expect to see (and would be happy with) in your own gallery. If possible, ask for a wedding with lighting that is similar to yours. A candlelit ballroom in December is a very different assignment than a garden at 4 p.m.
Most wedding photographers can only shoot one event per day so you may find this question silly, but it’s always good to make sure you aren’t getting a photographer who is stretched too thin. Which brings us to the next question: Will you be the person taking our photos? Do you work with an assistant/second shooter? Our complete list of questions to ask a wedding photographer will help you make sure you have the right ones during your interview.
I was just talking to a bride in our Facebook community the other day about how NOT having a wedding videographer at my own wedding is one of the things I regret the most. My initial hesitation with hiring a wedding videographer was, to be honest, a fear of having them get in the way. But I’ve now realized that a skilled wedding videographer will know how to blend in with the crowd, which if you do hire one I suggest you bring up as a potential issue.
When I think about our wedding day lately, I really do want a video to remind me of all the fun we had. I SO wish I had a video of me walking down the aisle with my parents, and of me and my now husband saying our vows. Even our embarrassing first dance (those dancing lessons DID NOT come in handy. LOL).
6. Your DJ or Band
If music is the soundtrack to our lives, then your wedding’s playlist should win for Best Performance. Take time to think about songs that have meaning to you both as a couple now, or those tracks that you want to remember in the future. Key moments to think about include your processional (the song you walk down the aisle to) and your special dances, like your first dance wedding song and father daughter dance song.
For the rest of the day’s music, trust your DJ to help create the mood and flow for your event. They are there to help you figure out how to plan a wedding you’ll remember, and music is such a big part of it. Our guides to choosing a wedding band and finding the right DJ can help you decide which one you want.
The Ones Couples Are Surprised to Hear About
7. Your Florist
When you start interviewing potential wedding vendors, it can be hard to keep all the questions you have for them straight. Especially for florists, who are responsible for creating much of the design and overall vibe of your wedding. Since your florist should be one of the first vendors you reach out to (alongside your photographer and planner, if using), you’ll want to make sure you have a game plan for each and every vendor interview.
You do NOT need a finished floral recipe. Most couples aren’t really sure where to start when it comes to floral design, so it helps to get an idea of what your florist recommends. When I interviewed Andrea Weithers of Sweet Details in Atlanta for my S.M.A.R.T. Wedding Planner, she said, “I don’t think you can be too specific.” Show the photo, but also explain what you like about it. The color? The loose shape? The fact that it does not have baby’s breath?
Most florists have a minimum spend, so it’s good to know what this is up front. As with every vendor, don’t be afraid to tell them what your wedding budget is, and if they are willing to work within it. You’ll also want to find out what their rate includes. For instance, is delivery, set-up, and/or tear down included? If not, what are the fees? Vases are another topic to bring up. Do you rent or purchase vases from the florist, or are they included in the centerpiece cost?
8. The officiant. If you’re getting married in a house of worship, your officiant will most likely be included in your ceremony fee and may or may not include an organist and/or vocalist. If your church requires pre-marital counseling sessions these may or may not be included in your fee.
Important Note: You and your wedding officiant must be familiar with the marriage laws in the state you are getting hitched in, so be sure to check on those at least several months in advance. Also remember that any officiant you use must sign the marriage license and the official marriage certificate and submit the license to the State for your wedding to be official!
9. Ceremony musicians. A house of worship may or may not include an organist and/or vocalist, so you’ll want to ask. You might also decide on a guitarist, quartet, or harpist. When planning your processional, remember to figure out whether the wedding party and the bride are walking down the aisle to the same song, and plan your music accordingly.
10. Hair and Makeup (Yes, This Early)
Good hair and makeup artists can book up six months to a year or more in advance (so book early!). When booking, you’ll want to take into consideration how many people will be getting their hair and makeup done with you on your wedding day, so you can make sure you have enough time and artists.
Now We Have to Talk About the Unsexy Stuff
11. Rentals (Including the Tent)
Have your vendors visit the property. This especially applies to any caterers you might choose to bring in, as well as tent rentals (which you should definitely consider if you have the space, not only for rain but for shade if you’re getting married on a hot summer day). A caterer will need to look at your kitchen setup and determine if they need to bring a portable caterer’s kitchen or other warming devices for food, and a tent/lighting company will be able to give you a more accurate quote if they can visit the property first.
Below you’ll find the rentals and supplies you might need for a backyard wedding. Are we missing anything? Tent, dance floor, lounge areas, reception tables/chairs, Port-o-Potties, generator, heaters, fans, plates/glasses/cutlery, serving platters, coolers/buckets for drinks, and bathroom essentials.
12. Lighting, sound, and power. You should also do your own run-through of the property to see what you might be missing. Start from the guests’ arrival on your wedding day to the time you say goodbye. This will help ensure you’re covering all your bases (such as whether you have enough bathrooms in the house for guests, or if you need to rent a luxe Port-o-Pottie…yes, nice ones exist!).
13. Your Hotel Block
As soon as you nail down your venue and date that is when you’ll want to start e-mailing hotels. This will give you an opportunity to e-mail several hotels near your venue to negotiate the best rate. In addition to picking hotels that are close to your venue (this will make transportation to and from your venue as easy as possible), you’ll also want to make sure you have room prices that will suit every guest.
You’ll want to ask the hotel for a courtesy hold vs. a guaranteed one where you might get charged a penalty for unreserved rooms. A courtesy hold means that a hotel will hold the rooms for your expected number of guests until a certain date, at which point any unbooked rooms will be released. You’ll want to note this date on your wedding website or on a separate accommodations card in your wedding invitation suite so guests know there’s a deadline to reserve the special rate guarantee. Make sure to review any contract you receive from a hotel carefully, and that you’re fully aware of what any penalties for non-bookings might mean.
14. Transportation. Picking hotels that are close to your venue will make transportation to and from your venue as easy as possible. If you’re planning a backyard wedding, you’ll also want to make sure you know and follow all rules surrounding noise, parking, and fire.
Two Vendors You Might Need Early (But Not Everybody Does)
15. A Custom Stationer
If there’s any wedding timeline you need to pay attention to, it’s when to send out wedding invitations! Because unless you’re eloping, you’ll want to let your guests know about your wedding day with enough time to make plans to (hopefully) attend. Sticking to a wedding invitation timeline is important not only because it lets guests put it on their calendars, but it gives YOU a firm date for when you need to make those other important wedding decisions by.
Once you have your date it’s never too early to send out Save the Dates. However, now is the time to start thinking about your wedding colors and “vibe.” If you want a cohesive look, you’ll want to think about matching your Save the Dates (and wedding website) with your actual invitations, so the more time you can spend thinking about which colors you want to go with now, the better.
As soon as you confirm your wedding date and finalize your guest list, you are free to send out your Save the Dates! This will give people time to plan around your event. Our wedding invitation timeline explains when to send those and the actual invitations.
16. A Cake Baker With a Specific Style
Before you go wedding cake shopping, it’s important to know not only what kind of design you want, but how much you’re willing to spend. To do that, you have to know just how wedding cakes are priced. Note that most bakers will charge per slice, but some might have a minimum price that’s added to based on your design and how much work is involved.
Most bakeries and cake decorators will charge by the amount of labor required for the cake design. Elaborate designs (such as those stacked with sugar flowers) will definitely provide the drama you’re after, but will also drive up the cost. If you’re looking to save money on your wedding cake, get a similar effect by simplifying the design.
What Can Wait
When I interviewed wedding planner Brooke Avishay of Orange Blossom Special Events for my S.M.A.R.T. Wedding Planner, she said it perfectly:
“I say, wait until you know how many people are coming to your wedding until you have that final number, and then if you end up with extra funds, then get that photo booth or whatever. It’s something easy you can add on later.”
Brooke Avishay, Orange Blossom Special Events
YES. Protect the vendors who can give your date to somebody else first. Then look at the companies with limited equipment and the people creating custom work. Favors will still exist in six months.
And ask vendors you love for the names of vendors THEY love, too. Wedding vendors, especially in a particular area, are a tight knit group of people who often work together time and time again. If you love a wedding photographer’s style, chances are you’ll like other vendor picks they’ve worked with as well.
Pick three calls to make this week. That’s enough. You do not have to plan the entire wedding tonight.
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