What Are You Supposed to Do During the Cake Cutting?

wedding cake cutting
Photo by Elizabeth Burgi Photography

Q: When are we supposed to have the cake cutting, and, uh, what do we do? Is there a certain way we’re supposed to cut it?- Naomi

A: You’re right! Having a wedding cake and a “cake cutting” ceremony are one of those traditions that are just sort of expected and not explained. Well, we’re here to break it ALL down for you!

First, the cake cutting ceremony should take place shortly after dinner, which often serves a cue for the older guests (or other guests not wanting to party the night away) that it’s OK/polite to leave. Your band leader or DJ will know the perfect moment for this (or if you’re DJ’ing your own wedding, you can feel out when’s the appropriate time).

SEE MORE: These Drip Wedding Cakes are Drip-Dead Gorgeous

So, just HOW are you supposed to cut the wedding cake? The bride places her hand on the cake-cutting knife, and then the groom places his hand over hers as they make two gentle cuts to form a single slice of cake. You then remove the slice onto a plate, and the groom proceeds to feed you the first bite, and then you feed him the second one. Now this is where some couples (not naming names) choose to get a little, shall we say, frisky with the cake? Doing a cake smash is totally your call. Just be sure to communicate with your spouse BEFOREHAND what’s ok and what’s not ok when it comes to feeding each other your piece of cake.

After your wedding cake cutting is typically a good time to make a short wedding speech, where you can thank guests for coming and tell them to stick around for the super fun dance party that’s about to go down.

Have a wedding planning question? E-mail us at hello [at] womangettingmarried.com!

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  1. Hi Frank! We are not fans of the cake smash either, but it is something that SOME couples do. We think it’s important you discuss whether you want to do it or not—even if it’s a big automatic “NO” from the couple.

  2. says: Frank Di Memmo

    I have operated PA and recorded hundreds of weddings and receptions and NEVER once thought it appropriate to have a “cake smash”. It is silly, childish and shows disrespect to each other. Fortunately, there were very few “cake smashes” I witnessed. I am surprised you even include it as a topic to consider at a reception!