Are You Supposed to Make a Toast at Your Own Wedding?

bride groom wedding toast
Photo by Pedro Filipe

Q: I’m in the process of planning out our wedding speeches, and have heard conflicting things about whether or not the groom and I are supposed to make one, too? What’s the right answer?- Beth K. Chicago, IL

A: Ahhh. Wedding speeches! In my opinion they are one of the most nerve-wrecking parts of the night, and honestly they’re a tradition I kind of wish would go away. I completely see their value and WHY people give them, but honestly a lot of times they can feel forced and awkward and does anybody REALLY like speaking in front of a large crowd?! (I didn’t even want to slow dance in front of people let alone make a speech!)

So, there are a couple schools of thought as to whether or not the bride and groom should give a wedding speech (in addition to the Best Man and Maid of Honor speeches). Here they are:

  1. The wedding hosts give a speech (IE: your parents or you and your spouse if you are paying ) to thank people for coming to the party.
  2. The couple chooses to give a short speech to thank their parents and let guests know they appreciate their attendance. This is often done in lieu of a receiving line.

See More: The Worst Wedding Speeches EVER

While those are two options you could choose between, alternatively (and according to our guru Emily Post), it’s completely acceptable for the Best Man to give the ONLY speech of the night. Anything after that is personal. For example, at our wedding we had speeches from the Best Man, Maid of Honor, a Bridesmaid, and my dad (my mom was standing next to him). And honestly I can tell you it never occurred to me at the time to make a speech (and this is something my wedding planner never brought up). I’ve personally only been to one wedding where the bride or groom spoke…the rest have always been the wedding hosts that make the speech in addition to the traditional Best Man and Maid of Honor speeches.

So, my advice? Do whatever works best for YOU. We’ll definitely toast to that! 🙂

If you DO decide to give a wedding speech, read our guide to how and when to give a great wedding toast here! 

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