The first person I showed my wedding vows to was my mom. She read them and said, “Oh, I love these, these are great.” Then I showed them to my dad, and he said, “You cannot say this stuff. This is too sarcastic.” (I did make a few key changes and toned down a few parts, and I am happy to report our guests laughed in all the right places.) I’m telling you this because my parents—and especially my mom—were in on EVERY wedding decision I made, from the venue search to the dress to the vows, and most of you are apparently planning the same way. Zola’s 2025 First Look data found that 56% of couples relied on their parents while planning their wedding.
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So this one is for the moms. If your daughter is getting married and you’ve been wondering what you could possibly give the girl you may have already given a wedding (or at least a chunk of one), we’ve got you. And if you’re a bride who plans on forwarding this to her mother with zero subtlety, we support that move completely.
It’s always fun to see what other people’s moms came up with, so we went digging through the wedding planning forums on Reddit, where brides love to answer this exact question. Their answers are sprinkled all through this article, and I’m warning you now that at least one of them made me cry at my laptop. We’ll start you off with an easy one.
“My mother gave me her great-grandmother’s necklace to wear with my wedding dress. It’s beautiful, and I’m so happy to be able to wear it!”
— via Reddit.com
Start With the Jewelry Box You Already Own
The gift your daughter will keep the longest is probably sitting in your dresser right now. In their 2026 Wedding Style Report, Zola and Poshmark (yes, they do a joint wedding study now) found that 34% of couples plan to work a family heirloom into their wedding day look. And of the couples going vintage, 61% said it’s because they want pieces that come with a story. Your own wedding earrings come with a story. So do your pearls, and so does the tiny gold bracelet she wore home from the hospital.
“My mom gave me her pearls my dad gave her as a wedding present. I’ve let 6 other brides in the family wear them since then. The main thing is to let your mom know how much you love her and appreciate all that she’s doing. Maybe write her a note. My mom loved that.”
— via Reddit.com
Six other brides have worn that one strand of pearls! We love a gift that turns into a family tradition all by itself. (And take her advice about the note, because brides remember the note.)
Try to hand the piece over before she goes dress shopping instead of saving it for the morning of the wedding. “If there’s an heirloom piece, let’s say you want to wear mom’s veil or earrings or necklace, anything like that, that you really want to envision to fit with your look, then bring that with you,” says Malinda Macari, the founder of Your Dream Bridal in Sudbury, Massachusetts, who we interviewed about all things wedding dress shopping. “Those are things that are always super fun to sort of have on hand.”
“I was hemming and hawing on doing a veil, but then my mom gave me her cathedral length plain tulle veil that was exactly what I was considering for free, so I decided to go for it!”
— via Reddit.com
Mom move: If the piece needs a new clasp or a cleaning, get it to a jeweler a few months before the wedding. Nothing kills an heirloom moment like a necklace held together with a safety pin. (And if she’s worried about overloading her look, our guide on how much wedding jewelry to wear breaks down what works with what.)
Your Wedding Dress Counts, Too
Still have your wedding dress? Mine came home with a hole in it from dancing in my heels, so believe me when I say it does not need to be in perfect condition for this to work. In their report, Zola and Poshmark found 36% of couples who use an heirloom plan to alter or redesign it. The brides on Reddit are way ahead of them.
“The lace over skirt and killer train are from my mom’s 1983 Priscilla of Boston. It was in fantastic condition. We pulled it off, gently, and had the tailor attach it along the asymmetrical waistline. It’s my something “old”ish :)”
— via Reddit.com
“I did (with my mother’s permission) take some fabric from my mom’s wedding dress and sew it into my dress. What’s better is my mom’s dress had a blue underlay with white lace over it so it was my something old, borrowed, & blue all in one!”
— via Reddit.com
Does offering her your dress mean she’s allowed to cut it up? Um, YES. That’s the gift! Say the word “alter” out loud before she has to ask, so she never has to stand in a tailor’s shop feeling guilty about your lace.
Keep in mind: She may also say no thank you, and that has to be okay (a wedding dress is personal, and the offer will mean a lot to her either way). You can always lend her the veil instead!
Something Old Has Mom Written All Over It
Want her to have something old, new, borrowed, and blue? Jewelry, a purse, and even shoes are all great ways to sneak those in, and the moms on Reddit have clearly figured this out.
“My mom gave me her garter and its blue. And old too since they’ve been married for 39 years. I love it. :)”
— via Reddit.com
“My mom bought a beautiful handkerchief that had our names and wedding date in blue 💙”
— via Reddit.com
And then there’s the sixpence. The full rhyme is “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence in her shoe,” and almost nobody remembers that last part, which is exactly why it’s a fun one for mom to claim. You can get a genuine vintage sixpence coin for less than the cost of lunch, and she will keep it forever. (More ideas for the blue part live in our 4 ways to wear something blue roundup.)
ASVP Shop Old Sixpence Coin with “Something Old” Wedding Card
The tradition almost nobody remembers to do. A genuine old sixpence that comes with a little card explaining the rhyme (so she knows exactly what she’s holding and why). Give it to her at the rehearsal dinner so it has a shot at making it into her shoe the next morning!
Sweet touch: Tradition says the sixpence goes in her LEFT shoe. Tape it flat under the arch, since she has enough going on that day without a coin sliding around in there.
A Letter She’ll Read More Than Once
If there’s ever a gift I hope moms take my advice on, it’s this one: write her a letter. It costs nothing, and I can tell you from the Reddit threads (and our own reader emails) that the letter is the one brides still talk about years later.
“My mom wrote [me] a 4 page letter and left it on my bed that night (I was in a hotel).”
— via Reddit.com
I love that her mom left it on the bed instead of handing it over in front of everyone. A letter she finds when the night winds down is one she can sit with, instead of skimming it with her lashes half-on while the photographer waits. One mom we featured on the site wrote hers 20 years early, and yes, that story is exactly as sweet as it sounds.
Letters to My Daughter: Write Now. Read Later. Treasure Forever.
Our go-to for moms who want to write more than one. Prompted, sealable letters you fill out over time and hand over on a big occasion. Start at the engagement party, write one a month, and hand her the whole stack with her coffee the morning of the wedding.
Morning-Of Surprises That Beat a Mimosa
An unexpected favorite from the Reddit threads? Wedding shoes!
“My mom surprised me with my first pair of louboutins! They are red Mary Jane’s with about a 2 inch heel. They are absolutely perfect”
— via Reddit.com
“My mom surprised me with custom platform Converse for my wedding, and they were great!”
— via Reddit.com
Two totally different shoes, one identical reaction, and that’s because both moms knew EXACTLY who they were shopping for. A pretty getting ready robe or a matching set works here too (our bride and bridesmaid getting ready outfits guide has our favorites), and so does anything she can open in the bridal suite while the mimosas go around.
And if someone she loves can’t be there, a bouquet photo charm lets her grandmother (or anyone she’s missing that day) walk down the aisle with her anyway. It’s a tiny locket that wires right onto the bouquet stems with a photo inside, and her photographer will know what to do with it.
Bridal Bouquet Photo Charm Locket
For the someone she wishes could be there. A small rhinestone-framed locket that holds a photo and clips around the bouquet stems. Add a picture of her grandmother, her childhood dog (we’ve seen it done, and it was adorable), or anyone she’s missing that day.
Pro tip: Tell her photographer about the charm ahead of time! A quick heads up means they’ll catch a close-up before the bouquet gets handed off or set down.
It’s Okay If the Gift Is a Check
Don’t get me wrong…if you’re already helping pay for the wedding, that IS the gift. The average wedding now runs about $34,000 according to The Knot’s 2026 Real Weddings Study. That’s right…$34,000. Zola’s latest First Look Report found that 71% of couples get some kind of financial help from family, so if you’re one of the moms writing those checks, you have nothing left to prove with a wrapped box on top.
“I gave my daughter $5000 for her wedding. Use it as you wish I said. If you want to go to courthouse then have a fabulous honeymoon, that’s fine. She went with the wedding. That’s ok. But I would have chosen the honeymoon.”
— via Reddit.com
I have read that mom’s answer probably five times, and I love everything about it. She would have picked the honeymoon, but she said her piece once and then let her daughter throw the wedding she wanted. We should all be this mom! (For the day-to-day version of that kind of support, we put together 10 things a new bride needs from her mother, and it covers exactly this.)
No Heirlooms? Start One
Maybe your family doesn’t have a stash of heirloom jewelry sitting around (mine sure didn’t). You can be first! If you had to pick one piece to buy new for this, I will always say pearls. A classic freshwater strand can be worn on the wedding day, used on a regular basis after (pearls go with everything), and even passed down as an heirloom when the next bride in the family gets engaged. Every single hand-me-down in those Reddit quotes was brand new in a box at some point!
The Pearl Source AAAA Freshwater Cultured Pearl Strand
We love this strand because it looks like it has been in the family for 50 years already (in the best way). AAAA freshwater pearls, a 14k gold clasp, and a box that’s ready for handing down. She wears it first!
And if jewelry isn’t her thing, go the keepsake box route. It answers the question of where the vows, the cork, the invitation, and the handkerchief all go after the big day. (If she plans on keeping her dress as a family heirloom too, have her look into preservation! The dress gets carefully cleaned, any loose beading gets repaired, and it’s stored in an archival box that prevents mold, mildew, discoloration, and smells. That’s also how it survives long enough for the next bride in the family to sew a heart out of it.)
Engraved Wooden Wedding Keepsake Box
The vows, the corks, the cards…this is where they all end up. An engraved wooden box pretty enough to live on a dresser instead of in a closet. Give it to her before the wedding, because those little paper pieces disappear fast.
If You’re the Bride: What to Give Your Mom Back
A quick word for the brides who made it this far, because the gifting goes both ways. The same Reddit threads are full of daughters trading ideas on what to give their moms, and one item comes up over and over.
“I gave my mom, step-mom and mother in-law custom handkerchiefs with a small handwritten message. It made all of them cry and they all used the handkerchief throughout the ceremony.”
— via Reddit.com
“Since my father passed away young, I danced with my mom to a joyful song (Van Morrison- Jackie Wilson Says (I’m in heaven)). I got her a frame engraved with some of the lyrics- plus a photo when those arrive. I think she loved it. 🙂 This could work sans-dance, too!”
— via Reddit.com
Embroidered Mother of the Bride Handkerchief
If you only get her one thing, brides keep saying make it this. An embroidered handkerchief made for the mother of the bride, ready to be tucked into her clutch before the ceremony. She will cry into it and then keep it next to her own something old.
And if your future mother-in-law is the one asking what to give you, send her our wedding gift ideas for the bride from the mother of the groom and let her take the hint.
Most of the moms quoted in this article spent very little, and a few of them spent nothing at all. The brides didn’t remember the receipts! They remembered that the pearls had been worn by six other women in the family, and that the letter was four pages long.
That’s about it from me! If your daughter is anything like I was, she will cry at the letter and then somehow ALSO cry at a coin taped inside her shoe. Weddings do that to all of us. If you two are looking for more excuses to spend time together before the big day, our 5 ways to bond with your mom during wedding planning is full of them (the dress shopping part is my favorite). And if you only remember one thing from this article, make it the advice from the bride whose pearls have made the family rounds six times: “The main thing is to let your mom know how much you love her and appreciate all that she’s doing. Maybe write her a note. My mom loved that.”
(Hi, Mom! I love you!)
