More than any other celebration, a wedding day is filled with traditions dating as far back as the ancient romans. Some have been imbued with new meaning, taking on a more modern twist, while others carry them on because people think they bring good luck. Or worse, bad luck. While it’s nice to think some wedding traditions can bring prosperity (and in some cases even fertility!), if you hate the idea of them, consider tossing it out the window along with that bouquet.
Below are some of the most common American wedding traditions still around today, and fun ideas for alternatives if you’re not into them at all. Just remember this is your wedding celebration, and you can decide to have your cake and eat it (or not!), too.
Wearing a Veil
This tradition from ancient Rome and Greece was originally intended to protect the bride from evil spirits. While a wedding veil can be a beautiful bridal accessory, we’re pretty sure it doesn’t carry super powers. If you aren’t looking to add another layer of flowing white to your wedding look but still want to give your hair a special touch, consider incorporating a jeweled hair clip or fresh flowers that match your bouquet.
SEE MORE: When Should You Take Take Your Wedding Veil Off?
Bouquet and Garter Toss
In medieval Europe, wedding guests wanted to catch, literally, a piece of the luck from the happy couple. And that included the bridal bouquet.
An air of superstition still exists around the bouquet and garter toss. After all, the thinking is that those who catch them will be the next to marry. While that may or may not be merited, if singling out your bridesmaids at the wedding reception isn’t up your alley, you can go for an alternative wedding tradition. Instead of a bouquet toss, a bride can pull flowers from their toss wedding bouquet and distribute them to close friends and family. Alternatively, ask your DJ to lead an anniversary dance. This is where all the couples hit the dance floor, slowly leaving as the DJ calls anniversary years. In the end, the couple who has been married the longest receives the bouquet.
WGM Says: Garters are so passé, I would eliminate that one altogether. For bouquets, I love both the toss and the alternatives.
SEE MORE: These 4 Tricks Will Help You DIY Your Wedding Bouquet
Wedding Cake
Let’s face it, not everyone likes cake! If you and your partner aren’t big on wedding traditions like a white frosted cake, there are so many other dessert options. For a colorful French twist, consider ordering a variety of macaron flavors. Or for fans of ice cream, mini parfaits are a fun, unconventional treat. If there is a sweet treat you love, chances are it can be turned into a wedding dessert. Don’t be afraid to explore all of your options before settling for something you don’t like.
WGM Says: Cakes are such a pretty, tasty tradition, I would keep it!
Bride and Groom Cake Topper
If you do choose to go with a traditional wedding cake, it doesn’t mean you have to top it with a conventional, mini version of you and your partner. Originating at the wedding of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, the topper in the likeness of the newlyweds isn’t the only way to top a wedding cake. You can easily find wedding cake toppers in just about any size, shape and design. Whether you want to nod to your favorite fandom or have your new last name in sparkly script, the choices for toppers are endless.
WGM Says: I think they take away from the cake itself. I love the idea of fruit and other organic cake toppers instead.
Wearing White
In Western wedding ceremonies, brides have typically worn white wedding dresses as a symbol of “purity.” But if you aren’t a fan of the color and are looking to do things a little bit differently, there are so many options available to you. Light gold and pale rose are two popular alternative wedding gown shades if you are looking for a subtle alternative. Or you could add a brightly colored sash for a splash of color.
WGM Says: I’m still a sucker for white or ivory, with flowers adding that pop of color.
SEE MORE: 10 Gorgeous Wedding Dress Colors That Totally Stand Out
Father Walking the Bride Down the Aisle
The custom of the father of the bride accompanying her down the aisle is one of the oldest wedding traditions that dates back to the time of arranged marriages. While those days are (thankfully!) past, for many it is still a beautiful way for a daughter to honor her father on her wedding day. But if you are closer to another family member, such as a mother, sibling or grandparent, they can accompany you instead. You can even ask both of your parents to walk with you down the aisle, as is common in Jewish wedding traditions. It is a lovely ritual that allows you to share a special moment with both parents…and who doesn’t want some extra support walking down the aisle in those wedding heels!
WGM Says: This is such a sweet moment, I would keep it!
Not Seeing Each Other Before the Wedding
This tradition might be the most controversial, and if you believe in it usually determines whether you have a first look or not. It’s one of those wedding traditions that dates back to when arranged marriages were popular (you can read more about choosing to have a first look here), and it’s stuck around ever since. If you do decide to stick with this wedding tradition, you might miss out on some great first look wedding photos. If you’re ok with saying goodbye to it, then you can schedule a first look with your photographer.
WGM Says: Want first look photos but sort of want to honor this tradition? You can choose to sleep separately the night before the wedding and not see each other until the first look for a happy medium!
Toasts and Speeches
It is customary for the maid of honor and best man to offer a brief congratulatory toast during the reception (they should be 2-3 minutes MAX), but you can always opt for more or less. For a speech-heavy reception, you can create an open mic atmosphere, inviting any friends and family to step up and offer a few words or share a memory. But if the idea of listening to a best man or maid of honor speech doesn’t exactly warm your heart, you can do away with the tradition altogether, asking those who would give wedding toasts to share their love for you in a letter that you can treasure instead.
WGM Says: We recommend saving speeches for the rehearsal dinner!
SEE MORE: Don’t Forget These Maid of Honor Duties
As you plan your wedding, it is important to remember that this is YOUR big day. If there’s a tradition that doesn’t fit your style or personality, don’t go with the norm simply because that’s how you’ve always seen it done. Choosing to do something a little outside of the box will make the day more memorable and fun for your wedding guests, and make your day feel more, well, yours.
Some links in this post may be affiliate links, which means we may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through them. Thank you for your support!
