The First Five Things to Do After You Get Engaged (Before You Book Anything)

You’re engaged!!! Congrats! Seriously, this is one of the most exciting times EVER, and you should celebrate it immediately.

One of the most common complaints I hear from couples getting married is how disorganized they feel. Between their full-time jobs, stuff at home, and everything else that can unexpectedly pop up, planning a wedding can feel overwhelming. Even brides I know who have full-time wedding planners feel this way! It just feels like there is so much to do, and oftentimes you don’t even know where to start.

The good news is you don’t have to book anything yet. In fact, unless you’re getting married right away, you’re better off taking a little time to enjoy just BEING engaged and getting your thoughts together. These are the first five things I would do before calling a venue, making a dress appointment, or putting down a deposit.

1. Tell Your Closest Family and Friends

While it’s tempting to pull out your phone and Insta-story the hell out of your engagement ring, take a few days or even a week to call, text, or e-mail your family and friends to tell them that YOU.ARE.ENGAGED!! After you do that you can post it allllllllll over the world wide web. You can even skywrite it…just as long as your sister, BFF, mom, dad, grandma and even your aunt know first.

As soon as you get engaged you might get friends, family and co-workers asking you when and where you’re getting married. They might even be bold enough to ask if they’re invited OR if they’ll be in your wedding party. While it’s OK to tell your bestie she’ll be a bridesmaid if you know there’s no question about it, it’s better instead to answer inquiring minds with a polite “I’m just so excited about the engagement we haven’t even begun to make plans yet!” That way until you send out the Save the Dates or think of who you want standing by your side on your wedding day, there won’t be any hurt feelings if plans change down the road.

2. Write Down Your Proposal Story While It’s Fresh

At some point you’ll want to craft the perfect story about how you two met (and those details about your proposal!). But don’t wait until your wedding website is ready to start writing it down. Save the photos and videos, write down what you remember, and ask the people who helped with the proposal to tell you what was happening behind the scenes. There is almost always a detail you didn’t know about.

3. Create a Plan Before You Start Planning

OK. OK. You CAN go ahead and make those secret Pinterest boards visible AND even take a trip to the bookstore to buy a truckload of wedding magazines and planning books (And of course use WomanGettingMarried.com as a resource!). But unless you’re getting married right away, you’ll want to definitely hold off on reaching out to vendors or making appointments for at least a little bit. Instead, take the time to enjoy just BEING engaged and get your thoughts together.

But no matter how much time you have for wedding planning or even how big your budget is, my advice to couples is ALWAYS the same: The best way to plan a wedding without going crazy is create a wedding planning timeline and stick to it. The same way you would tackle a project at work or even at home, you want to create a PLAN and go through each item on your list, one by one. Seriously, it’s the ONLY way to do it.

And when you’re ready to move from just being engaged to actually planning, you can manage your wedding communications all in one place with Lovebird: create a free wedding website, send digital Engagement Announcements, Save the Dates, Invitations, and Thank You Cards, track RSVPs, message guests, and more. That’s especially helpful when your wedding information would otherwise live in 47 different tabs (and three group texts).

4. Figure Out Your Budget and Guest List

Sit down with your partner and come up with a realistic wedding budget that you feel comfortable spending. Whether that’s $5,000 or $50,000, it has to be a number that you can afford. You don’t want to dig into important retirement savings or rack up credit card debt. Once you figure out that number you’ll need to stick to it no matter what.

Once you have a number you can live with, run it through our wedding budget tool to see how it might break down.

Next, grab your computer or your favorite notepad and create two columns (and have your partner do the same). On the left, write down the names of family members and friends that you would invite to your wedding if budget was no object. On the right, list the names of family members and friends that HAVE to be at your wedding no matter what. This would include your parents, siblings, besties, etc.

Once you get that core group figured out, you can start adding people from the left column as your budget allows. If you want to invite 200 people but only have $2,000, that’s going to be hard. A 20-person guest list at that price (if you want to feed them) would still be tough but do-able if you go very casual with food.

One of the most important things to remember when thinking about how to plan a wedding is that every guest adds to your bottom line. If you want help organizing the names, our free wedding guest list template is a good place to start.

5. Figure Out What Month or Year You Can Realistically Plan a Wedding For

You’ll also want to figure out what month or year you can realistically plan a wedding for.

And please don’t go wedding dress shopping before you have some of those big details in place. We HIGHLY recommend using our wedding checklist and coming up with a step-by-step plan before jumping into something as important as wedding dress shopping. Ideally you’ll want to wait until you’ve not only decided on your wedding budget but picked a location as well as time of year (or better yet you’ll have the wedding venue decided on) before you decide on a dress. That’s because the state, venue, and time of year you choose for your wedding will most likely impact what type of wedding dress you get.

So while you can start to get an idea of what wedding dress style you want by looking at wedding dresses online and in magazines, you’re better off not going into a store and trying one on and tempting yourself to buy it until you have those big details in place.

A Few Things You Can Wait to Decide

Speaking of those secret Pinterest boards, don’t feel locked into any wedding ideas you might have had BEFORE you got engaged. Sure, you might have been dreaming of a strapless wedding gown and grey bridesmaid dresses or even a metallic and pink wedding palette and a naked wedding cake. Just realize that all those ideas might get thrown out the window as soon as you find your dream wedding venue or look at your wedding budget and decide donuts might be better instead. Start being flexible now and you will avoid any confusion or disappointment later on.

It’s easier said than done, but listen to us. DO NOT STRESS OUT RIGHT NOW. You will surely have some days or weeks closer to your wedding date where you want to go running down the street screaming about how much your wedding favors will cost you, but until then realize that you’ve got this. You really, really, do. We promise.

Once you’ve told your people, saved your proposal story, made a plan, worked out a starting budget and guest list, and narrowed down when and where you might get married, you’re ready for the next steps. Short on time? We even have a guide on how to plan your wedding in 6 months!

And in the meantime, before the proposal details get buried under venue tabs and budget spreadsheets, share your proposal story for a chance to win a series of prizes, including a $2,500 grand prize. Terms & Conditions Apply. Contest Ends 9/30/26.

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