Former brides are always quick to offer up their advice for anyone about to embark on the crazy process that is wedding planning, but a groom’s input is just as important. There are no rules for who has to do what leading up to the big day, and it’s always helpful to hear from men with different perspectives. Lucky for both future brides and grooms, Inside Weddings recently spoke to a number of men who know about the planning process firsthand. Read on for some of the best advice that the real grooms had to offer.
“Try to remember that this is a celebration of your relationship, the people you are together, and the life you’re building, and it should feel like you… Despite the stress of planning, our wedding was a tremendous reminder of why we wanted to get married. We don’t always agree in our daily lives, and wedding planning was no different. But compatibility has been an achievement of our relationship – not a precondition for it. Over nearly a decade, we’ve learned to navigate the world as partners, growing for each other as much as we’ve grown with each other. So, even when we didn’t see eye to eye on the particulars of the menu, we never wavered in our shared vision of an event that felt like the life we’ve worked so hard to build together; warm and inclusive and joyous and celebratory.”
“Have a friend as the officiant; I think it makes it so much better. Also, this is a small piece of advice but it was given to me and I am so glad we took it: at some point in the ceremony, have the officiant invite the bride and groom to turn around and look out over the crowd of people for a few solid beats – these are the people who have come from far and wide to celebrate you, these people are your family and support system. It was a memory from the wedding I’ll never forget.”
“The bride knows best. Do your best to support them throughout the inevitably stressful planning stages, and then when the time comes, make sure to take it all in and share in the joy with everyone who came to support you.”
“Be supportive of your fiancée’s vision for the day and make sure you speak up on aspects that are important to you – like having or not having a ‘first look’ or the cake flavor (two important parts for me!). There is so much that goes into the big day – I was amazed by the whole process.”
“As far as the planning goes, my suggestion would be to not forget about the purpose of the event. Yes, the wedding day itself is incredible, but what is even more incredible is the marriage that follows. Spend time during your engagement to focus on the marriage itself. For us, that meant meeting with our pastor for marriage counseling. Those meetings have helped us far beyond the wedding day and have made our marriage a unity between God and us.”
“Enjoy the process as much as possible and don’t let the stress get to you. It will truly be the most memorable experience of your life.”
“Get a videographer. We wondered if we really would ever watch the video that much, but we do and couldn’t imagine not having it.
“Always remember the big picture: it’s about the marriage, not the wedding, so compromise is important. This is the start.”
“Remember that this is your event. If you are deciding between what you think will make you happy or what will make your guests happy, choose yourself. If you are enjoying, there’s a fairly certain chance your guests will enjoy too.”
“Enjoy and live in the moment, and be appreciative of all the hard work from both families to put on such a joyous occasion. And make sure you’ve got all the honeymoon plans sorted out well in advance.”
Read more advice here.