I’m definitely not a fan of concentrating on wedding “regrets,” mostly because I feel like weddings are filled with enough Do’s and Don’t for a lifetime, and the last thing you need is another thing to worry about “not” doing. I also don’t believe in overanalyzing something in the past and thinking about how you would have changed it…because it’s just that–in the past!
But there is a lot of value at looking at what brides, in hindsight, might have done differently, and using that to help inform your own upcoming wedding. Which is why I love this Reddit thread. From no kids or cell phones to assigned seating and too much wedding cake, brides recently shared their biggest wedding regrets in an effort to hopefully help you brides-to-be avoid your own.
When you’re done, check out the 5 things I would have done differently at my own wedding.
“I regret not getting a videographer – sort of. It’s only been 3 weeks, and the memories are already starting to fade! That makes me feel so sad since the day was absolutely perfect! However, I also know that having a videographer there would have made me feel awkward. It has taken several years for me to be comfortable with photography, and I just didn’t think I should try to introduce a form of photography that makes me feel even more awkward.”
Spent More Time With Guests
“I kept hearing people say that you have to make sure you get the time to eat dinner, so you don’t miss out on all the good food you arranged. I think that’s true, but I think I actually spent too much time just eating with my husband and watching the wedding around me. I wish I had eaten as fast as possible, and spent more time visiting with people.
Part of that is because we took a lot more time than I’d realized for pictures, right after the ceremony and then again after dinner when the light was better. I know the pictures will be awesome, and of course that’s what you have at the end of the day, but it curtailed my visiting time more than I realized.”
Letting People Help
“Not much but mostly I regret not asking for help during the planning process. If people want to help, let them and trust them to get it done. I can be a bit controlling with this stuff so no one wanted to get in my way so I needed to let people in more instead of feeling alone and stressed.”
No Cell Phones
“I wish I had asked the officiant to tell people to put their cellphones away. We have so many lovely shots of the ceremony but in every one there are people in the background holding up cellphones so you can’t see their faces.”
A Better Photographer
“I wish SO and I had gotten a better photographer. We got a great deal on the fee…but it shows in the pictures. They’re not bad per se, just kind of amateurish and like someone who wasn’t being paid took them. I wish I had gone with the photographer with pictures I loved, not the cheapest acceptable one.”
Too Many Kids
“Giving in and allowing children to attend. They interrupted the ceremony, broke shit at the reception, stained my husband’s vest, etc.”
“I regret being so stressed out during the planning process. Everything I wanted didn’t happen, I added a few things I’d never thought I wanted and at the end of the day the whole thing turned out perfect. I also regret never wanting a wedding in the first place. My husband was the one who wanted the ceremony and reception and I just wanted a city hall ceremony and dinner after. So glad we went when my husbands choice because I loved every minute of that day.” 🙂
No Assigned Seating
“Not “reserving” any tables at our reception… We had a buffet and didn’t want to do assigned seating, which worked out just fine, except that I figured our family and wedding party (we just did a sweetheart table) would sit at the front few tables, and they didn’t. My husband’s mom, step-dad and brother/best man sat almost in the back! I would’ve made it more clear where I wanted family to sit.”
“I regret not having take-out boxes for guests to bring home extra cake. I ordered more than I needed and the servers cut smaller pieces than expected. It was freaking good cake, too.”
“I can honestly say I don’t regret a single thing. I was very lucky that my day was basically perfect…I feel bad saying that here but sometimes you have to hear that things actually went well!! I loved my photos, haven’t seen my videos yet but our videographer is amazing, food was great, my DIY and decor visions were right on, guests and vendors were great!!”