When choosing a wedding DJ, you don’t want a pushover. If they can’t say “no” to guests who use their friend’s or cousin’s wedding to flex their “sense of humor,” the DJ can single-handedly introduce an off-note to an otherwise perfect night. A DJ who wants to book more wedding gigs should start by avoiding these songs.
1. Guns N’ Roses: Used to Love Her
Look no further than the opening line of “Used to Love Her” to understand why it’s not exactly wedding material. In fact, every DJ should have a restraining order against this song because it doesn’t belong anywhere near the wedding-night Spotify queue.
Sidenote: Chill out, Axl.
2. Rednex: Cotton-Eyed Joe
But if nobody plays the country techno (a genre unleashed on the world by Satan himself) smash hit “Cotton-Eyed Joe” at the wedding, how is the bride going to know that—were it not for Cotton-Eyed Joe—the groom would have been married a long time ago?
P.S. Where did Cotton-Eyed Joe go, anyway? For that matter, where did he come from? Hopefully, the Rednex (clever) get us those answers in time for the wedding season.
3. The Eagles: Lyin’ Eyes
The Eagles aren’t standard wedding fare, but “Lyin’ Eyes” really isn’t wedding-appropriate. It’s a song about a young, good-lookin’ lady who marries a Hugh Hefner-type for his money, only to cheat on him on “The cheatin’ side of town.”
It’s the type of song that makes the groom look a few seconds longer into his newly-minted bride’s eyes. While we’re blackballing Eagles songs, cross “Witchy Woman” off the list. That one can be easily misconstrued, too.
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4. The Police: Every Breath You Take
If you play “Every Breath You Take” at your wedding, you may as well fast-forward five years through the nasty divorce and inevitable stalking episode that follows. Another great song that belongs on your “Me Time” playlist, not the wedding-night song docket.
5. Paul Simon: 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover
Paul Simon has plenty of hits, few of which make sense at a wedding. But no Paul Simon hit is less appropriate for a wedding than “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover.”
In fact, first on the list of “50 Ways to Get Your Wife to Leave You on Your Wedding Night” is requesting “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover”.
6. Def Leppard: Pour Some Sugar on Me
When the boozed-up high-school friend that the bride begged the groom not to invite to the wedding convinces the DJ to play “Pour Some Sugar on Me,” you can bet that the groom will pay the price. Maybe not on the wedding night or even on the honeymoon. But, sure as an Elizabeth Taylor marriage is going to end in divorce, the groom will eventually pay.
This is a wedding, sir, not a brothel. We won’t be playing any Def Leppard here.
7. Gold Digger: Kanye West
Playing any Kanye West song is problematic lately. But playing this song at a wedding? Probably not the best choice.
8. U2: I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For
The folly of requesting this well-known U2 song comes down to who issues the request. If it’s the groom or any married man, “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” just sends the wrong message.
There’s a time for jokes, and it’s in the best man’s speech, not the wedding playlist.
9. Shaggy: It Wasn’t Me
“It Wasn’t Me” is what the groom might say to his bride as she furiously asks which buffoon slipped the DJ a $20 to get Shaggy on the loudspeaker.
One witness to matrimonial malpractice swears they’ve attended a wedding where “It Wasn’t Me” played. Great song, but not on the wedding night.
10. Sir Mix-a-Lot: Baby Got Back
I’m more torn than a losing lottery ticket when it comes to “Baby Got Back.” Part of me says this classless ode to inflated rumps belongs nowhere near a tasteful wedding night.
That said, as the Hennessy is flowing and the ties come off, would some “Baby Got Back” improve the odds of the single ladies and fellas ending their night on a high note? You’re darn right it would. You make the call on this one. I won’t be mad either way.
Source: Reddit.
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