The image of what your wedding night is supposed to be like seems so ingrained in our culture (via movies, books, you name it), that it’s super easy to feel a ton of pressure when the moment comes around. The idea that you’re supposed to get back to your hotel room after the wedding, rip each others clothes off, and begin an hour-long Skinemax session can make you feel like something is wrong with your relationship if that DOESN’T happen (or that your marriage is doomed).
But the truth is that the wedding night does not represent what it used to. Most couples are living together (and sleeping together) way before they get married, which makes their wedding night a whole lot like most of their other nights when it comes to having sex. In fact, more than HALF of married couples DO NOT HAVE SEX ON THEIR WEDDING NIGHT, according to a recent poll. And as you’ll soon experience, the act of standing on your feet for more than 8 hours, smiling non-stop as your parents introduce you to so-and-so- friend, combined with not eating enough yet managing to drink plenty…the one thought that will most likely turn you on the most at the end of the night will be taking your shoes off because they are %*$#% killing you.
To talk more about this topic, real couples recently took to Reddit to reveal just how exciting (or unexciting), their wedding night really was. Some of the answers might surprise you (or not). I’ve compiled a few of my favorite answers, below!
The bottom line? Stop stressing about it (and tell your future husband/wife to as well). Whatever happens, happens. It doesn’t mean you love each other (or want each other) any less if you’re both too exhausted to do it. And if you do manage to go at it like rabbits all night long? I’d love to know what vitamins you’re taking (for real).
Hairstory
I was trashed drunk and had eight million bobby pins in my hair. My husband spent an hour getting them all out of my hair while we ate room service. We passed out mid bobby-pin extraction. We were both way too tired to do anything. The next night was much better.-Arthropody
Everything’s Better With Pizza
We had sex, although we were quite tired. Then we ordered pepperoni pizza. We were starving! If anyone asks, sitting in the hotel room, eating pizza, and laughing with my new husband was the best moment of the night. I realized that this was my new life, and it was awesome!-xtul7455
Taking One for the Team
We had sex, but it almost felt like an obligation. We had been on our feet for 12 hours, dressed up in more clothes than we’d ever worn in our lives, talking to people, dancing. By the time we got to our room, we’d have both been content to just go to sleep, but we powered through it…-didsomeonesaywonder
All We Needed Was Popcorn…
About an hour of sex, then we ordered room service and watched Euro Trip. It was a good night.-Blackbird83
Time-Out
We had been having a lot of sex, and we were engaged for a year and a half. We thought that abstaining for a month prior to the wedding would make wedding night sex feel new and exciting.
Oh, how wrong we were.
That last month was a stressful time. It would have been nice to have the physical connection and comfort we had been accustomed to.
The night itself was disappointing. We were exhausted. We were slightly drunk. We weren’t exactly turned on, our bodies weren’t ready, but we had built the whole thing up in our minds. We wanted that special “fireworks” experience, and we each knew the other expected us to perform, so we forced it. It was the first crappy sex we had as a couple.-CelticMara
Room With a View
I booked a room in a Marriott with a whole romance package several months in advance. It’s gonna be $300 but it’s my wedding night, right? That’s about the only responsibility the groom has so I went all out.
The wedding was great, we had a religious ceremony and were having the reception the next day so we headed over to the hotel. I had thought it’d be great to have a room high up so that’s what I booked. We get to the front desk in our wedding attire and the concierge is super nice, trying to make it great for our big day. There’s a slight problem though, “We’re doing construction on the floor above yours, so there may be some noise in the morning but they won’t be on your floor until tomorrow.” Well we’re checking out at 10am so that’s not a problem.
We ride up the elevator and I’m handing out $20 bills to everyone as tips ’cause I just got married to the girl of my dreams. The door opens and I take 1 step out into a sticky mess. The carpet’s already been pulled? Whatever. We laugh and make our way to the suite with the bellhop lugging our bags. We get to our room and the laughing stops. I see that not 15 feet away is an 8 man construction crew getting ready to rip a door frame off. I open the door to our room and I can tell the previous guest has left recently- still ice in the used drinking glass.
The bellhop asks where to put the bags, “Leave them on the cart. We’re not staying.” I’m not really angry at this point, I just figure that with all the construction the hotel management has goofed. I picked up the phone and called the front desk “Hi, this is Nate and my new wife and I just checked in. There’s a construction crew outside, the floor is a disaster, and the room hasn’t been cleaned. We’ll be right down so you can tell us how’re we’re gonna get this squared away.” Not mad, just firm and letting them know that this isn’t how we’re spending my wedding night.
We hung out in the lobby for 10 minutes looking at paintings and even bought some snacks in the hotel gift shop. They call me over and the lady begins apologizing profusely about the mix-up. “We’ve upgraded your suite, package, and re-evaluated the charges. Congratulations on your special day.” I opened the key holder and they had written “New total: $00.00. All expenses included”
We headed up to our palatial suite, opened the sparkling grape juice, and they even had some chocolate covered strawberries for us. We immediately began sexy times; the shower, the bed, the hot tub, hell- we even broke in the little office desk. I was really glad we got gatorade from the gift shop. We ordered room service of 4 dinner entrees and 3 desserts, even had a 5-star breakfast the next morning…Started off as a problem, ended in the best wedding night ever.-imbignate
Time for Dessert
We got to our hotel. Ate hot fudge sundaes and crashed. We had lived together for a year. Having sex on our wedding night just didn’t seem like a big deal.-survrX3
One Thing Led to Another…
We got home after my in-laws dropped us and all the presents off. I didn’t think we’d have sex since we were both exhausted, but I needed his help unzipping my dress. Which is when he grabbed my butt. And then… Well, you know. The next morning, we woke up, ate some of the leftover cake and opened presents. Then dinner out with one of the gift cards we got as a present. Then more cake. Also, we weren’t virgins. We had been together for over 5 years by the time we married and had been living together for over 2 years.-midnight-eyes
An Unexpected Visitor
My wife had a guest visiting. A bloody, cramp-inducing guest so nothing the night of. She made up for it on the
Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
We did. She was looking hot in that wedding dress, so I didn’t have much trouble getting it off of her and in the mood. Definitely an air of forcedeness and obligation to it though, not some super hot night of passion. We lived together beforehand though, it’s not like this was some novel thing.
I have friends who abstained before the wedding though, one couple waited 6 months. If you are looking for the wedding night to be something special physically, this seems like a solid method to ensure that.-kevstev
Home Improvement
My friend told me the story of her wedding night. She and her husband jumped onto the bed together and the bed frame snapped in half and collapsed. They decided to call the repairman in. So they sat there in their wedding clothes awkwardly as he repaired their bed.-Supacaboose
What’s the Big Deal?
We had already been together for 6 years at that point, so it was like “Woo hoo, married sex…. is just like not married sex”-polyhooly
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