Wedding scouting with my mom this past weekend was unsuccessful. We went to Memphis (where we used to live and I went to college) to see if any venues blew us away. There was no real reason to have the wedding there, except for the fact that the city holds special memories for me. With that said, a wedding venue in Memphis would have to be really amazing to justify having the wedding there. Despite seeing 7 places, nothing worked. So we’re checking that off the list.
That really only leaves three places: New Orleans, Miami, and… nowhere.
NOWHERE?
While I was out of town this weekend, my mom (who is very excited to plan a wedding, don’t get me wrong) informed me that she’ll make the same offer to me that she made my siblings: “We’ll happily pay for the wedding, or we’ll write you a check.”
Gulp.
This is a major decision to think about!! We can spend X amount of dollars on one night that will be in our memories forever, or we can put that money towards a down payment on a home that we’ll build a lifetime of memories in (cue sappy music). This is a great position to be in, and reflects the amazing generosity of my parents, and I know I’m such a lucky girl for that. But I’m honestly torn…
FH, who is not a big advocate of large weddings, is right in saying that this is a great opportunity for us to buy a home sooner rather than later. Combined with our current savings, a wedding check would definitely make it a real possibility to buy a home this year. But would I feel like I missed out on my “big day?”
Personally, I’m OK with having a smaller wedding, but even those can be expensive. A wedding of 100 people or less is most likely going to cost somewhere around $15-$20k with catering and venue rental. And that doesn’t include the dress or music. That means a small wedding for us would be just immediate family and a couple of our closest friends, and would mean I would have to eliminate the token things that come with a big wedding party. One of them is that DRESS…and I’m not talking about a simple white dress. I’m talking about the “I need help getting into this” kind of huge dress. The kind that you walk down the aisle in, and everyone lets out a collective sigh. The other is the dance with my dad.
Ever since I was a little girl and started listening to music, I’ve wanted to have my father/daughter wedding dance to Frank Sinatra’s “Fly Me to the Moon.” I think it started after I saw that movie “Once Around” with Holly Hunter. The dress, the aisle, the dance…these are things that have been in my dreams since I can remember. Am I ready to give up on them? Even if I’m not, is it the obvious/right thing to do?
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