Tough Talk: Should Exes Be Invited to Your Wedding?

invite ex to your wedding

Photo by Emelie Petre

Q: I am still good friends with two of my ex-boyfriends, and have brought up the idea of inviting them to my FH. He said he doesn’t love the idea, but if it means a lot to me I can. I obviously have zero feelings for either of them, but would feel weird excluding them since I still talk to them both fairly regularly. But I also don’t want to upset my FH. What should I do?-Cynthia

A: There is one easy way out of this situation, and it’s to remember this rule: Exes and weddings DO NOT mix. Regardless of how close you are to your ex-boyfriends, they are exactly that: EX. Your future husband has already expressed to you that he doesn’t love the idea, which honestly should stop the conversation right there.

I think you also have to put yourself in your spouse’s shoes. How would you feel if he invited an ex-girlfriend you weren’t crazy about? I’m guessing not so great. Weddings are a time for close family and friends to get together to celebrate the marriage of two people who have chosen to take this huge and exciting step together. Anything that can potentially cloud that should taken off the table, and I think exes definitely fall into that category.

It would be one thing if the three or four of you were ALL close, or if your FH told you off the bat that he was totally fine with the idea. But he didn’t, which means you have to respect his wishes for a day that is just as much about him as it is you. Your wedding should be a fun, stress-fee day for the BOTH of you, and inviting your exes to it might not be the best way to start it off.

 

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