OK. So these wedding dress codes pictured below might not actually exist, but sometimes it feels like they could. Since when did dressing for a wedding (or telling your guests how to dress for a wedding) get so hard? From Beach Casual and Dressy Casual to White Tie/Black Tie optional and everything in between, soon we’ll be telling guests what kind of undies to wear on our invites.
With that said, I often find it baffling that guests don’t kind of already know how to dress for a wedding. I mean, I can see the need to put Black Tie on an invite if you expect your guests to all wear tuxedos instead of a suit, but does it mean you can show up to an evening wedding wearing a golf shirt and khakis if a dress code isn’t listed on the invite? The short answer is ‘No.’ While some instructions are helpful if your desired wedding attire is out of the ordinary (Swimsuits Only!) or a specific dress code is required from your venue (IE: jacket and tie, in which case you would say Formal), I don’t always see the need to include a dress code on an invitation unless it’s important to you.
If you do want to include a real dress code on your wedding invite (excluding the funny ones, below), here are the meanings behind the most common ones.
White Tie:
The most formal of all wedding dress codes, it means men should wear a tuxedo with long black tails, a white pique vest, a white bow tie, and even white gloves would be appropriate. Women should wear a formal, full-length gown.
Black Tie:
This means men should wear a tuxedo, a cummerbund, a black bow tie, and patent leather dress shoes. Women should wear an upscale cocktail dress or a full-length gown.
Formal or Black Tie Optional:
Men wouldn’t be out of place in a tuxedo, but guys can also wear a formal dark suit and tie. Women should wear a cocktail dress, dressy suit, or a long dress.
Semi-Formal or Dressy Casual:
For daytime weddings men and women should wear lighter colors, and for evening darker is more appropriate. Men should wear a suit and tie, and women should wear a cocktail dress or a dressier skirt and top.
Beach Formal:
This has the same attire requirements as a formal wedding, but you’re dressing for the elements (IE: wind, sand, etc.). Men should wear a daytime-appropriate suit (no tie required), and women should wear a dressier sundress.
Casual:
While some might think this means anything go, think office-appropriate (which means no shorts or jeans). Men should wear dress pants with a button-down. Women should wear a casual dress or nice top and skirt.
I searched high and low for a collection of cute stamps when I was planning my wedding invitations, but in the end couldn’t find a cute set that wasn’t either crazy expensive or a pain in the butt to piece together. While doing some online Christmas shopping at Anthropologie over the weekend I found this set. I got super excited until a) I realized they weren’t actually stamps one could, say, use, and b) they were sold out. But it did get me inspired to see if there were any better options out there since I originally started looking for them. This is the best option I’ve found so far, below!
Do you know of another easy, ready-to-use vintage stamp collection out there? Let me know in the comments section below!
I can’t believe I haven’t posted here in almost a month! Ugh.
The good news is, we are finally settled into our new digs in sunny LA. The boxes are almost all unpacked, and now all that’s left to do is hang the pictures and buy a much needed coffee table and nightstands. Those things… I can handle.
One thing that’s also on my list is a new return address stamp. We had one in Nashville that came in handy for our wedding invitation envelopes…and even though I knew we wouldn’t live in our Nashville apartment forever and we won’t live in this one permanently either, there’s something nice about having a memento of your former addresses. So, I’ve been shopping around for a new one.
I found this self-inking one on Etsy that I thought would be great for a wedding invitation envelope. And if you’re not into calligraphy this designer has some great options to choose from for good prices. I personally recommend self-inking, as I’ve had some problems in the past with getting an even covering from wood stamps/ink pads. It might not be an issue for the occasional thank you note, but when you’re doing a lot of envelopes in bulk (like for a wedding) it’s going to come in handy.
If you come from a divorced family, wedding invitation wording can become a pretty tedious process. Even if you’re not in a blended family, it can be nerve-racking trying to make sure you get your wedding invitations “just right” without managing to piss off a family member. Between knowing what to capitalize, who’s paying for what and when they should be included, or whether or not you want more traditional or casual wording, wedding invitations require more than a few minutes of your time. Use this handy list to help you figure out just what to say on yours.
The Who/What
Bride’s parents are hosting in a religious venue:
Mr. and Mrs. David Thomas Jacoby
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Michelle Katherine
to
Michael Gavin Jones
Bride’s parents are hosting in a non-religious venue:
Mr. and Mrs. David Thomas Jacoby
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Michelle Katherine
to
Michael Gavin Jones
*NOTE: Even though the bride’s parents are hosting, I think it’s nice to add in the groom’s parents names as well.
Here’s how you would do that:
Mr. and Mrs. David Thomas Jacoby
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Michelle Katherine
to
Michael Gavin Jones
son of Mr. and Mrs. Edward Phillip Jones
Groom’s parents are hosting in a non-religious venue:
Mr. and Mrs. Edward Phillip Jones
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of
Michelle Katherine Jacoby
to their son
Michael Gavin Jones
Both parents host in a religious venue:
Mr. and Mrs. David Jacoby
and
Mr. and Mrs. Edward Jones
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of
Michelle Katherine
to
Michael Gavin Jones
NOTE: The bride’s parents come first
Couple hosting in a religious venue:
The honour of your presence
is requested at the marriage of
Michelle Katherine
and
Michael Gavin Jones
Couple hosting in a non-religious venue:
Together with their parents
Michelle Katherine
and Michael Gavin Jones
request the pleasure of your company
at the celebration of their marriage
Couple hosting, simple:
Michelle Jacoby and Michael Jones
invite you to celebrate their marriage
Everyone hosts in a non-religious venue:
Ms. Michelle Katherine Jacoby
and
Mr. Michael Gavin Jones
together with their parents
Mr. and Mrs. David Jacoby
Mr. and Mrs. Edward Jones
request the pleasure of your company
at their wedding
If you or your groom have divorced parents, remember these rules:
Names are listed on separate lines without an “and” between them
Mom always comes first.
If the bride’s mother is not remarried, use “Ms.” followed by her first name and the last name she is currently using (maiden or still her married name)
Traditionally, even if the bride’s parents are remarried, you only list the parents names on the invite (though I think that’s outdated!). Here’s an example:
Ms. Susan Smith
Mr. David Jacoby
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Michelle Katherine Jacoby
to
Michael Gavin Jones
However, obviously if you’re just as close to your step-parent as you are your biological parent, you won’t want to leave them out! If the brides’ parents are divorced and remarried, you would include the mother and step-father first, then the father and step-mother second:
Mr. and Mrs. John Hamilton
Mr. and Mrs. David Jacoby
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Michelle Katherine Jacoby
to
Michael Gavin Jones
NOTE: In this instance you include the bride’s last name since it’s not obvious what it might be after her parents’ divorce
If you want to include the groom’s divorced parents on the invite, and the father is remarried but the mother is not (but still has her married name) it would look like this:
Ms. Susan Smith
Mr. David Jacoby
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Michelle Katherine Jacoby
to
Michael Gavin Jones
son of
Ms. Shirley Jones
Mr. and Mrs. Edward Jones
If a widowed parent is hosting:
Mrs. David Jacoby
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Michelle Katherine
If a living parent has remarried, a nice way to include a deceased parent would be:
Mr. and Mrs. William Rafferty
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of her daughter
Michelle Katherine Jacoby
daughter of the late Mr. David Jacoby
to Michael Gavin Jones
More tips for the Who/What:
No abbreviations should be used. (The only exceptions are Mrs., Mr., and Ms.) Spell out formal titles such as Doctor, Reverend, Captain.
“Request the honour of your presence” is traditionally only used if the ceremony is taking place in a house of worship. Otherwise you should use “Ppleasure of your company.”
Formal tradition says the word honor has a “u” in it, as is the traditional British spelling. However, if you want to make it more casual, nobody will care if you omit it.
Only use bride’s first and middle name. The only exception is when brides’ last name is different than parents, or when it is unclear which name she uses, in the case of divorced parents.
Jewish faith calls for an “and” instead of “to” between the bride and groom’s names.
“Mr.” is formally used for the groom, but it is not necessary and can be omitted if you’re going more casual.
Same is true for using your parents’ middle names. Technically if you are using your own middles names, you are supposed to use your parents’ as well. But in the effort of saving space you do not have to. Either use the full middle name or none at all (no initials).
The When/Where
Saturday, the eighteenth of June
two thousand and eleven
at half after seven o’clock
The Wedding Room
5434 Wedding Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Dinner and dancing to follow
NOTE: The spacing depends on your invitation design. It’s expected that you’ll put spaces between several of the elements (such as the location, dinner/dancing parts, etc.)
If your ceremony is held one place and your reception at another, you should consider using a reception card so your wedding invitation doesn’t get too wordy. However, if you would like to have all the information on the invite, you can do this:
Saturday, the eighteenth of June
two thousand and eleven
at half after seven o’clock
Temple Beth Am
Miami
and afterward at the reception
The Wedding Room
More tips for the When/Where:
For a formal invitation…
You can include “on” before the date, but it is not necessary. (IE: On Saturday, the eighteenth of June.)
Do not use abbreviations for anything. (IE: Spell out the year completely, as well as the State.)
Spell out numbers, except in the address.
For the numbers 21 through 29 and 31, use a hyphen to connect the two words. For example, the number 28 would be written as “twenty-eighth.”
You do not need to clarify “afternoon” or “evening” unless the wedding is at 8, 9, or 10 o’clock.
Do not use “a.m. or p.m.” as they are abbreviations.
Use “half after” not “past” for the time.
No punctuation is used, except when separating two phrases on the same line (such as “Saturday, the sixteenth of October) or for listing City/State
Only capitalize proper nouns, a new thought (such as Dinner and dancing), or words that are normally capitalized (such as a State).
Zip codes are not included.
Bringing it all together
Mr. and Mrs. David Thomas Jacoby
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their daughter
Michelle Katherine
to
Michael Gavin Jones
son of Mr. and Mrs. Edward Phillip Jones
Saturday, the eighteenth of June
two thousand and eleven
at half after seven o’clock
The Wedding Room
5434 Wedding Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
As a newly engaged writer, I had a hard time finding the practical information I needed to plan my wedding. While the wedding books, magazines, and websites I read had pretty pictures, they seemed to just skim the surface when it came to providing helpful ways for me to create the wedding of my dreams. Now that I'm married, I hope this blog serves as a resource for all you other bride-to-be's, with unique ideas for wedding venues, wedding decorations, wedding dresses, and more!
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